Parent Teacher Meetings

I'm often asked by parents what to bring to a parent teacher meeting. Whether it's a scheduled conference or a requested meeting there are several things you can do to feel more confident when walking into a meeting with your child's teacher or school staff. Below, I walk you through how to request a meeting and several ways to prepare for it so that you'll feel more confident and prepared to sit down with educational professionals in a way that will benefit your child.

How to request a meeting:

In today's world email is everything. If you have a concern or would like to meet with your child's teacher or other school staff send them an email. It's the easiest and fastest way to get a hold of them. When writing the email keep it simple, short, and please be polite! You want to include 3 things: your concerns or reason for requesting a meeting, who you would like to attend the meeting, and several days and times you are available to meet.

Voice your specific concerns or reasons for wanting a meeting in the email. Be judicious about which issues or concerns you want discussed. Depending on the size of the issues or concerns, pick no more than 2 or 3 topics you'd like discussed. All of your concerns are valid, and if you have a huge list you have every right to want them addressed. However, it's just not realistic to walk into a meeting and expect to have time to address a long list of concerns or issues. Stick to the 2 or 3 most important ones and let the staff know that you have more concerns and would like to set up other times to have those addressed. Often the smaller concerns can be addressed by focusing on the larger ones. Give the teacher or staff member 36 to 48 hours to respond to your email before you follow up. You can follow up by phone call or another email.

Address the email to the people you would like to attend and participate in the meeting. That may just be your child teacher. If your child is older they may have more than one teacher. Maybe your concern involves a specials (PE, art, music, etc) class. In that instance you'd want to ask the specials teacher to be part of the meeting. Depending on the concern, question, or issue you may want the assistant principal or principal at the meeting. Be sure to specifically say who you would like to meet with, and copy each of them on the email.

Give several specific dates and times over the next two weeks that you are available to meet. If you're intending to meet with just one person, scheduling a meeting is much easier. If you're requesting more than one staff be present for the meeting it might take a week or two to find a common time where everyone is available. Please keep that in mind.

Remember, time is a valuable and scarce commodity for everyone. Teachers and school personnel are doing their best with the limited time and resources available to them. If your concerns can be addressed through a phone call or video call, please be willing to consider those options in place of an in-person meeting. They are usually easier to coordinate and generally result in your questions and concerns being addressed more quickly. 

Preparing for the meeting:

1. Check your child's progress ahead of time. Especially if the reason for the meeting revolves around grades or assignments or classwork! Check the parent portal for posted grades and assignments. Look to see if there are any comments from the teacher. Make note of any missing work.

2. Write down any questions or comments you have ahead of time. Coming to the meeting with a prepared written list will help you get your concerns addressed and it will help keep the meeting on track.  You'll leave the meeting feeling like all of your questions and concerns were communicated. And more than likely you'll have answers to your questions and a better idea of how your concerns will be addressed.

3. Prepare yourself to be kind and collaborative. Reaching out with kindness and walking into the meeting having a team mentality will ultimately help you in the long run. Too often parents and teachers are put into situations where they feel pitted against each other. When in reality we are all on the same team! We all want to do what's best for your child and their education, and we can make more progress toward that end goal when we work collaboratively together!

4. Prepare to be open to feedback. Listen to the teacher's response to your concerns or questions whether it's positive or areas of improvement. Ask more questions. Ask for specific examples. Approach the meeting with an open mind and a willingness to collaborate with the teacher for your child's benefit.

What to bring to the meeting:

1. List of prepared questions or concerns

2. A paper or notebook and writing utensil

3. Any documents or assignments that relate to your prepared questions or concerns

4. Kindness and a collaborative mentality

5. An open mind

Assume good intentions:

The majority of all school staff and teachers are working hard for their students, yours included! They want to make a difference for you and your child. Try to assume good intentions on the part of the teachers and school personnel. There may be disagreements on how, but the vast majority of educators want to see your child be successful in their education.

Unfortunately, there are situations where communication and collaboration can be contentious. If this describes your experience working with your child's school personnel or if you would like more help and information please contact me. I can help you navigate communicating with the school and walk with you through the process of having your questions and concerns addressed.